It’ s easy to be grateful while the road is smooth and detours mild and rare.
It’s easy to trust the Universe when there are fruits and flowers evolving you in their scented embrace wherever you look.
It’s easy to keep going when the signs are bright-coloured and frequent, nurturing your faith with every new step you take.
What when the Storm comes and destroys everything you loved and cherished?
What when the Ocean decides to swallow everything you’ve been certain of?
What when the pain finds shelter within your bones while you were asleep,
draining your forces slowly and steadily, without any signs of leaving?
How to say “I am loved. I am worthy. The Universe/ God/ Source takes care of me and does everything in my best interest” when everything is shattered and there’s no solid ground to lay and rest upon?
How to believe that “It’ll get better. It all happens for a reason” when the pain you feel grows deeper and stronger with each new sunrise and you start to forget how it was to feel the sunrays on your face?
whose heart is bleeding and eyelids are sore from trying to shut them strong enough wishing that by doing so, eventually they'll shut forever, so you wouldn’t have to go through another day of trying to catch your breath under the water.
who feels like getting out of resources to continue the fight,
whose soulache is so excruciating that you need to inflict pain upon your physical body in order to distract yourself from the internal one, even if it is just for a brief moment, or two.
I cannot tell you it’ll soon get better - because I don’t know that.
I cannot tell you it’s just a phase and once you’re out of it, it will be just rainbows and sunshine ‘till the rest of your days - because it won’t.
The only thing I know for sure is this...
The Universe loves you unconditionally.
It would never give you the amount of suffering that you are not capable to handle and come to the other side.
Pain is necessary part of our soul’s curriculum in order for it to learn and integrate the lessons, grow, expand and evolve. It came forth into this physical plane for that reason and once we are able to truly grasp that concept and fully accept it... no, the pain won’t suddenly and miraculously stop and go away, but our suffering will become more bearable as we’ll gain a new perspective on it, new faith and trust in its purpose and benefits it’ll bring us once the bitter taste washes off.
It’s hard to keep this in mind and heart when the pain grows so intense that the only dreams we’re having are the ones about hitting “the reset button” and leaving this planet, but it’s right then when it’s the most important to nurture the faith and self-compassion - in whichever way we can.
I am not telling you to just get over it, rationalize it and spiritually bypass it or try to numb the pain or distract yourself from it, ‘cause it doesn’t do you any service long-term.
Instead, surrender to it, let it swallow you, let it push you down to its dark, humid bottom - so you can rise brighter and stronger than ever, integrating the lesson the Universe lovingly prepared to you.
I love you.
You can get through this.