They told us that time heals all wounds but I think it’s bullshit.
As much as it is a soothing thing to hear and an easy and sweet one to believe in - it gives us hope, it allows us to relax and find patience in the midst of a painful situation, it is also a dangerous trap we may fall into and never get back out of it again.
The thing is, although pain, trauma or any other kind of event that hurt us and caused some kind of emotional damage will pass and transform in just a vague, less-vague or even inexistent memory (if we are really good at suppressing) of our conscious mind, the hurt part of us will not just magically heal itself without proper care and attention - healing is a process that needs to be DONE, whether while the wound is still hot and bloody or later on, depending on a situation. However, it can not be done just by waiting, pushing emotions aside day by day hoping that one morning it will hurt less and we will not remember it as vividly as at the very beginning.
Our subconscious mind stores everything. Everything. Every tiny bit of every situation you’ve ever been into. You may not consciously remember the traumatic event you have been through, but your body does, emotions that haven’t been felt and expressed live inside your body, imprisoned, getting stronger and more uncomfortable every moment and trying desperately to get out. How do they do that? In every possible way they can think of and they do it so damn smoothly that most of the times you won’t be able to pinpoint that they are the root of your self-sabotaging behaviour patterns, drinking problem, lashing out at family members, agressivity, food addiction, codependent relationships etc. etc.
They are there and they want and need to be released. I know that it can be incredibly torturous and painful to go back, analyse the past and feel all the emotions we didn’t allow ourselves to feel at the time - but it is crucial. You have to reach the roots of it to pull it all out, but how you’ll do that is entirely up to you. Some prefer do it in therapy, some through yoga, various holistic practices, writing, meditation... there are countless ways to trigger the healing process of our shadow side, but the first step is always the willingness to face the dark and stop illuding ourselves that it’ll all miracously evaporate with time... cause it won’t.
Stay brave. Love you all,