I’ve been struggling for years with Seasonal Affected Disorder or so-called “winter blues” and as I much as I plan to avoid it every single winter by preparing and organizing all tactics and strategies, I’ve never avoided it completely and each winter (with this one being no exception to the rule), I’ve been falling into long low-energy and fatigued moods, with no motivation and will to do everyday stuff.
I can be disciplined with myself and during all this years battling with mental health problems I developed a few tools for handling my mood swings and keeping them from completely ruining my life, but even after pushing myself to be productive, to meditate, to create, to go for a workout - I would finish my day crying in bed, already resentful for having to go through all of it tomorrow. I am just tired, leave me in bed till spring, please.
Today, however, I think I might have found the best cure for all of it.
And what is it?
Forgiveness and acceptance. I can forgive so many people, but I am so harsh with myself and I believe that is the case with lots of people. I felt like doing nothing this morning, and even though I planned workout and this and that, I just said fuck it and with no guilt returned to bed and read until lunch time when I got out for a walk with my parents.
What is so revolutionary in this? you might be wondering.
Well, for me it is. On some days I might stay in bed and do the same but filled up with guilt and self-loathing, so that instead of getting that so needed rest I would just be more tired at the end of the day. This time I let go off all of my expectations, duties, “shoulds” and just gave in into resting for a morning and...
Nothing happened. No one died. No one was angry with me nor screamed at me.
Life goes on and I am feeling calmer and refreshed by this newly discovered sense of acceptance and allowing myself to go with the flow instead of pushing constantly, running after “shoulds” that I learned along the way and feeling resentful, tired and at the edge of a nervous breakdown most of the time.
Guys, please be compassionate with yourselves. You need it. Forgive yourselves for being imperfect and provide yourselves with love and acceptance at all times, but especially when you fail to reach your high standards and crazy expectations.
Lots of love,