As I was walking back home from the fitness class I took up this summer while in my hometown, I came to a scary and mind-blowing realization: it was the first time in last 7 years that I went on my training make-up free.
Yeah, I know, it is kind of gross, but that’s just how it is.
I started wearing make-up when I was 13. It was just foundation as my parents didn’t allow me to put anything else at such a “young age” and I was getting a bit of breakouts and starting to feel a lot of self-conscious at that time - so, yeah, they gave me their blessing to buy my first foundation.
I don’t know what happened since then, I guess I just used to see myself in the mirror with my imperfections covered and less visible, so I wore it everywhere and anytime. I started to develop a form of anxiety to be seen in public with my “real face on”. It is little fucked up when you think about it.
First time it struck me how sick my relationship with make up was was after a sleepover at my friend’s, when I woke up and came into kitchen where there were already some people awake and having breakfast and I was like: “Sorry guys that you have to see me like this, I haven’t put my make up on yet.”
Moment later I was - what the fuck was that?? Why I have to excuse myself for the face I was born with? Even if I don’t have that porcelain tan and a few spots every now and then? Do I really offend someone with just, you know, being me and showing up with this body and face that I was born into?
I realized then that I need a reality check and a break from wearing make-up constantly, but just couldn’t find the right moment (and courage, let’s be real) to do that challenging task.
Until I was forced to.
So, as I mentioned earlier this summer, I went on Camino de Santiago with my boyfriend, which means we walked every day for around 25kilometers, often under the sun, getting all sweaty and smelly - so wearing a foundation in those circumstances would be really, really idiotic and superbad for my skin.
I took a deep breath and did it. First few days I was feeling shitty when I’d catch a glimpse of my clear face in mirror, just because I was unused to it, but after just some time it got so much better. Like my skin was SO happy, it started to get that healthy glow that I haven’t seen in such a long time and cleared up so much as well.
I am really grateful to have been forced to go make-up free for a month, because even now, as I came back from my traveling I don’t wear foundation. I don’t say I won’t do it EVER AGAIN, but I feel comfortable as well without it. I put some mascara and lipstick and I definitely like to explore make-up as I see it as a form of artistic expression and find it really fun, but I want to enjoy it and feel free while doing it, not be a slave of it. Or of anything else, for that matter.
How do you feel about wearing make-up? I’d like to hear if someone else has had some similar experience!