I am so tired of being strong. My lungs are full of sticky wishes that can’t seem to decide whether they want to get out in the daylight or continue to hide within me. Let me crawl into your wide arms and release the control, teach me how to surrender as my body started to break down from all the pressure it’s been under for such a long time. I pushed so hard, I’ve been so strong only to feel this weak. My legs hurt, my insides ache, every breath burns my throat and lungs and exhaustion is complete. Is that how it feels to be dying?
I don’t mind dying. I just don’t wanna be weak. I just don’t wanna live half-life, ordinary life, average life...normal life. My dreams are too big for this small body so sometimes it breaks down unable to cope with all of it.
I just wanna feel better. I just wanna have strength to do things again, to feel the sun and rain and to challenge myself and grow. To spread love, give kisses, receive hugs and aliviate pain of this planet.
Gonna close my eyes now... Gonna wait for your loving response.
Thank you, my biggest fan.