We’ve all done it. We’re all guilty of that, being it on regular, daily basis or just now and then.
Talking with my bf on the phone the other day about how those people that are complaining all the damn time get on my nerves, how I’m sick and tired of their playing victims and not doing anything to move forward... Then I shut up. As I realized I was complaining about others complaining, which doesn’t make much sense.
It is easy to fall into the trap, guys. Complaining and negativity are contagious and there’s surely some comfort being found in the victimhood, playing small and blaming the external circumstances on our lives not being what we want them to be and us feeling shitty ‘bout that.
The important thing to understand is that things are never good or bad. Things just are as they are. We are the ones inventing the labels and putting them on. On the other hand, this Universe loves us more than we could ever grasp and it makes everything happen for a reason and for our greater good. Contrary to what I just said - things, at the very end, are always good. The hardest times bring the best lessons and growth opportunities.
If you’re going through some really rough times at the moment, I don’t mean to be disrespectful or pretend that shutting up, suppressing the pain you’re feeling and putting on a fake smile will help - it definitely won’t and don’t do that. What you can do, instead, is acknowledging the grief, the sadness, whatever it is going on inside of you, knowing that it’ll pass, knowing that every bad situation has its hidden gems that you are not able to see at the moment, but that will reveal themselves to you sooner or later. Have faith and remember how strong you are and how stronger you’ll be once the storm is over.
And to us others... who are bitching just for the sake of bitching, complaining and blaming the external stuff to avoid facing our fears, laziness, unwillingness to take the responsibility... Just stop! Ok? (I am not talking just to you, but this is a reminder for myself as well.)
Whining about stuff with your mates may create a false sense of bonding, that “we are all in same shit, everyone’s against us, poor us, blahblah” thing, but all in all... it just drains you. It uses a shit ton of your energy that can be invested in some nice and productive things that could actually help you move forward with your life.
So, what are some practical tips when you feel that seductive urge to complain and externalize your power and responsibility?
Pinch yourself, take a deep deep breath, grab a piece of paper, notebook, whatever, and write down all nice, beautiful, good stuff that pop into your mind. It can be as basic as “Cereal this morning was so damn yummy” or “I am happy my professor’s sick so we don’t have lesson today”... Literally, whatever you want that fills you up with gratitude and raises your vibe.
There is just one little thing, though. YOU HAVE TO WRITE IT. Not just read this post, think about it for millisecond and... “nah, it doesn’t work”. I am telling you this because I was exactly like that, but when I finally got my lazy ass up and wrote down my gratitude lists few days in a row... Game changer. Everything got brighter and more colorful. Flowers, unicorns, all that shit.
Don’t trust me. Just try for yourself, ok?
Stay well and lots of besitos :**