We’ve all heard stories about people being told as young children by their art teachers or relatives or whoever, that their drawings suck and who, traumatized by those harsh comments, never gained courage to try again and simply accepted that creativity and artistic expression is “not their jam” and that they should better stay far from it.
Childhood trauma goes deep down and is extremely hard to get to its roots once we reached the adult age and switch those limiting self-beliefs on whichever topic, not only creativity. However, is the rejection of our creative expression at such a young and vulnerable stage of our lives the one and only thing that creates blockages in the creative flow of the individual? Have all the creatives who lost their way to the Flow been traumatized when they were 5 years old?
I’ll tell you about my story with art and creativity and struggles I’ve been through until I finally managed to find firm, peaceful and joyful ground from which I can create and actually enjoy the process.
I was good at drawing and artsy stuff since very young age and always got lot of praise for that. I internalized it and took it as part of myself, a base of my self-worth - it was something that was helping me with my self-esteem and if at any time I’d feel like getting into self doubt or feeling “lacking” in any sense - I’d create something, show to someone and feed on that praise and admiration - filling up my tank of self-love again.
To make it clear straigth away - that is really unhealthy dynamic that caused me lot of self-esteem issues later on.
After highschool, I got into university to study design and the first negative comments on my work appeared. Well, that was expected and probably helpful and healthy for the development of my skills, but for the place I was at at the time, where all of my self-worth was coming from other people’s appreciation of my work - it was lethal. I got very soon very depressed and finished in therapy, but that’s another story.
I believe the biggest problem we have with our creative expression is that we see it as part of ourselves, which isn’t true. It’s more of an extension, it’s Source flowing through us and using our human bodies to manifest itself in physical form. We shouldn’t take nor praise nor critique personally, because they have nothing to do with us as such. If we manage to put ourselves out of our creative endeavors, see them just from the outside, as a spectator, unattached and neutral, it gives us a new freedom and more space to grow as artists and spiritual beings, ‘cause we can appreciate the divine energy that has been channeled through us instead of seeing us as creators and feeding our Egos even more with positive feedback. And trust me, nothing made through Ego’s filter could ever be that good and magical as something produced through free flow of Universal Energy when we manage to remove all of the Ego’s barriers.
Forget your relationship with creativity up until now and try to just let go, experience the flow without preconceived ideas and just continue to create. Don’t look back. It is all about the process, it is all about that high we get when we are creating from a peaceful and aligned place.
Lots of love,