As connected as I naturally am to my intuitive side, I spent most of my teenage years completely cut off from my internal guidance. Day after day, I’d be shutting its voice and finding the shelter within the mind, rationally evaluating any doubt and decision I was about to take and running to others for the advice and direction, whether I really needed someone else’s advice on the topic or not.
My only sources of guidance were rational evaluation and other people’s opinion. I kind of forgot how did it feel to “hear the whispers of my inner guide”.
I was left completely confused when my therapist asked me for the first time:
-OK, but what do you FEEL you wanna do about that?”
-What do I FEEL? Well, obviously there are x advantages and y disadvantages, therefore I should...
-No no no, not what you SHOULD do or what they want you to do, but what your heart wants?
My heart?? I had no idea. I lost the access to that part of myself and it took some serious work and tuning in to rediscover the path to that calm, safe, knowing place within me.
The reason why I am writing this post is because innumerous number of times along the journey to reconnecting to the voice of my intuitive side, I stumbled upon the challenge of discerning whether it was really my intuition speaking up or whether it was just the fear trying to prevent me from doing something that may benefit me and bring joy to my heart, but it is at the same time risky, uncomfortable and requires some courage. And, sometimes, it is reaaaally hard to distinguish one from the other, as the fear, in desperate want of our Ego to protect us, knows all the tricks to mask itself and hide behind any role that’s needed in order to get our attention and persuade us to choose it.
Intuition is like a muscle, the more you tap into it and train it - the stronger it gets. However, in order to get to that point and start developing the muscle, we have to do some deep inner work, getting quiet on regular basis and tapping into our inner space so we can learn - or really remember - the language of our heart and soul. When I’d be in doubt which voice is my intuitive voice and which is the fear-based one, I’d say outloud the question that I’d have and put a hand on my heart space, closing the eyes and getting really aware of anything happening in that space. Then I’d say one after the other possible solution to my challenge and stay conscious of how it feels in my chest while I am pronouncing one particular possibility. If the sensation is warm, expanding, calming and evolving - that was my intuition saying “yeesss, that’s the right way”. If I’d feel a sudden drop in energy, getting slightly tense, the sensation of closing in the Fifth Chakra area, almost like fog entering my body - I’d know it was the fear speaking, trying to prevent me and save me from potential hurt and disappointment.
If you are still struggling a lot or just from time to time (I, personally, still do sometimes when it is about stuff I am particularly sensitive about or topic that tends to trigger the old wounds and patterns) to hear the voice of the Internal Guide, don’t be harsh with yourself, give yourself love, acceptance and - patience. It takes time, it takes being quiet, staying superaware, being willing to look inside and... trust. Trust that you can find that place, that your body gives you signals and that there is nothing you can really DO about all of this other than listen... really listen.
can you please stop running
there’s nothing around the corner
just as nothing was
at the last one you checked
no place you need to be
instead root yourself to the ground
and get quiet
and watch as
the signs on the road appear
whispered from within
guiding you back
back to the place
you ran away from
so long time ago
that the shelter
you were seeking
“Don't try to comprehend with your mind. Your minds are very limited. Use your intuition.”
We live in a heavily left-brained society which means it's all about logic, rationality and scientifically based conclusions.
Growing up in a world like that it is very easy to lose connection with our intuitive voice or start questioning the callings from within as they more times than not do not have a "logical explanation".
As a highly sensitive person I've always been very aware of my intuition and its subtle messages - I'd literally feel a flush of energy rushing through my body and offering me clear guidance about which direction to take when facing a decision. Did I always listen to that voice? Of course not.
They teach us to think rationally, evaluate our options, think about advantages and disadvantages and choose the option that has more of the first and less of the second - nobody teaches us to go silent and do what FEELS right.
It is funny how we think that with our limited perspective we can make the "right" decision about anything at all while there is the eternal voice of our True Selves that sees the bigger picture and offers us guidance at any moment.
Most of us are programmed to doubt and question our "gut feeling" and challenge it by asking "why? why that way and not the other?" But intuition doesn't work like that. You will probably find out only when you look back why that decision was the right one at the given moment, but until then - you have to cultivate trust and develop faith in the existence and accuracy of higher guidance whose only job is to take care of you on this path.
Reconnecting with our intuition and reestablishing trust in it can be hard after years of suppressing, doubting, and ignoring, but it is not impossible. It requires us to go silent more often, tune into our bodies and feel the energy that rushes upwards as we ask the question we want an answer to. Acting upon it may be easy or difficult, but it would always FEEL RIGHT. That is also how we can distinguish intuitive voice from the voice of our Ego that may make us resistant to do the thing that we intuitively know is the right thing to do by reawakening some suppressed emotions that may discourage us to take the inspired action and flow with our intuition and instead make us run back and hide inside our cocoon of comfort, fear and smallness. Ego wants us to stay small, fearful and separate, intuition leads us towards expansion and oneness.
Living in tune with our intuition can be a challenge because most of the people we interact with on daily basis are simply so out of tune with their own inner voices that we may be perceived as childish, crazy or just making stupid excuses to avoid to do something. I still struggle with that and am trying to find a way to stay true to myself and at the same time don't offend or hurt people that i have to say "no" to. I still make stupid excuses because I cannot say that my gut is telling me not to go to that bar and that we should instead go to other... or whatever the situation is. People want a rational, logical explanation that "makes sense" to the brain, but not always to the heart.
However, maybe if we all gain a little courage and slowly start voicing our gut feeling to those surrounding us, maybe by doing so we can give them permission and encouragement to do the same and consequentially we can all create more tuned in and aligned society that can stop being so severely damaged by its "rational thinking".
Tune in, my friends, and allow yourselves to be internally guided.